Gods of Egypt (2016) – Should I Watch It?

Intro to… Gods of Egypt
Aladdin and One-Eyed Jamie go on a quest to beat the evil king Leonidas.

The Plot
The God Osiris (Bryan Brown), King of all of Egypt, has lead his country prosperously. Gods and men live together harmoniously, helping one another flourish. But his time as ruler has come to an end, and he wants his son, Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), to succeed him. Horus, naturally, takes great pride in this, and he accepts. But on the day of his coronation his uncle, Set (Gerard Butler), kills his father, cuts out his eyes, and claims the throne for himself.

Should I Watch It?
Gods of Egypt is an adventure fantasy that takes place in the mystical realm of Ancient Egypt. In this alternate universe the world is flat, and, if you look at the list of actors involved, lacks actual Egyptians.

I am going to go straight to my thoughts on this movie: it is hilarious. Not in a funny way, mind you. But in that it is so terrible that it turns funny kind of way. This movie is a bit like Jeb Bush when he was running for president. It is confident in itself and tries really hard, but you cannot really take it seriously and you laugh at it at times it really does not want you to.

There is literally nothing this movie excels at. The story and acting is cheesy, the dialogue is lame, and the CGI looks terrible. I mean, there is the occasional good-looking shot, but most of the time the background looks so terrible that you can almost see the blue screen.

A long time ago in a galaxy that is exactly ours, George Lucas once said: “Special effects are just a tool, a means of telling a story. People have a tendency to confuse them as an end to themselves. A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing”. And young George was right, you cannot tell a story with visuals alone. He proved that later on in his life when he directed the Star Wars prequels. You need to feel invested and connected to the main characters. Otherwise instead of feeling empathy, excitement, and tension, you will be indifferent and bored. And that is exactly how you will feel while watching this movie; indifferent and bored.

Gods of Egypt is a terrible movie, but not in the sense that you should never watch it. If you are the type of person that likes the laugh at bad movies with a beer and a couple of friends, then this is perfect for you. I had a great time watching this with my friends. It is ridiculously bad, and I am definitely not going to recommend it. But it is also not the worst thing ever.

No, don’t watch it.

Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed reading this review. If you have any comments or suggestions on what I should watch next let me know in the comment section below.


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5 responses to “Gods of Egypt (2016) – Should I Watch It?”

  1. intrepidmuses says :

    I had a feeling that it was going to be a terrible, terrible, no good movie, but now I know! Thanks for saving me 10 bucks!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. theaspiringfilmcritic says :

    Haha! Great post! I completely agree. The director even called film reviews “diseased vultures”, so he did a great job promoting his film…

    Liked by 1 person

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