Pan (2015) – Should I Watch It?
Intro to… Pan
Everything you did not want to know about the life of Peter Pan.
A woman ninja’s her way to The Lambeth Home for Boys, an orphanage run by a group of evil nuns. This is where she regrettably must leave her infant son Peter. But not before she entrusts him with a letter and a necklace.
Twelve years later, during World War II, Peter (Levi Miller) still lives in the orphanage. Life for the orphans is terrible as the nuns harass them constantly and keep most of the rations for themselves. Even worse, lately, children have started to disappear at night.
Should I Watch It?
Pan tells the story of how a small boy named Peter became the Peter Pan we all know and love. And boy, did they get it wrong. I have strained my brain for hours to come up with something positive to start this review with, but to no avail. This movie simply has no redeeming qualities. None at all.
Let’s start with the characters. There is Peter, of course. He is our main character and is played by Levi Miller. I do not lower the bar for child actors, but even if I did he would not make the cut. His character is not likeable and his acting is all over the place. I was constantly hoping for Blackbeard, the villain of the movie, to win – and he is far from likeable either.
Which brings me to my second least favourite character. Blackbeard is played by Hugh Jackman, in, without a doubt, his worst performance ever. His character has a lot of similarities to Johnny Depp’s character Sweeney Todd, from the correspondingly named movie Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, only without any of Depp’s depth or talent.
Side characters Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara) and James Hook (Garrett Hedlund) also bring little to the table. Mara seems to be aiming to become the Queen Amidala of the Peter Pan universe, and the idea that James Hook used to be a cross between Indiana Jones and Han Solo is ridiculous.
Some fantasy movies fail because they use too little imagination, Pan fails because it uses too much. It is like every idea that they came up with has been incorporated into the movie, regardless whether it would make sense to the overall story. Evil obese nuns, acrobatic pirates with clown make-up, skeletal birds, mermaids, random singing… just why?
Pan is a terrible movie. It is nonsensical, badly acted, and a complete mess. Every direction taken by director Joe Wright was wrong. This movie was clearly set-up to have sequels; I truly hope that those movies will never land.
No, don’t watch it.
Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed reading this review. If you have any comments or suggestions on what I should watch next let me know in the comment section below.